My Journey of Redemption

Last night I was livid. Banging student papers onto their desks, violently straightening furniture, banging doors, and muttering words that good teachers don't say. I was angry because of yet another betrayal, and because I feel change desperately needs to happen and I had let myself hope for just a moment that maybe, just maybe this time something was going to be done. And then the familiar pattern feel into place, and I was left knitting like my life depended on it so the words coursing through my soul wouldn't spill out and get me into any more trouble. I've been thinking about it a lot as I cried a little last night, and as I was still so upset that I had to leave breakfast for a moment this morning as I fought back tears. Do I have any right to be angry? Am I in the wrong here? Do I actually know anything about kids and what they need? Am I wrong to want this change? Is God's law being broken? Are kids being hurt? Would it just be better to quietly

Goodness knows that this is something I struggle with a lot, and it is not like I'm making any new observations. But over the last month I have been thinking about this a lot since I've come face to face with two pretty big instances of this issue, and I felt the need to write out some thoughts. In my observations and personal experiences, something that conservative Christians often fail at is admitting failure. When you think about it, this makes sense. Most conservatives live lives obsessed with outward righteousness, so admitting failure would be to damage their projected holiness. I know a thing or four about this--one of the hardest lessons for me as a teacher (in the midst of many hard lessons)--has been to humble myself and apologize to people, children in particular. Too long have I cherished the lie that apologizing to people I'm in authority over is a sign of weakness, and that I will loose respect. I am very, very good at being self righteous--there is al

I had not even heard the term 'millennial' until I was home for five months recently. Oddly enough, there don't seem to be a lot of them in Zambia! When I did hear it and the definition, I thought very strongly to myself, "No, that is NOT me! I don't even fit into that age bracket!" Only then, I did some research, and I'm pretty much in the middle of that age bracket. Okay, so I am a millennial by timeline, but I told myself, I'm not a millennial in any other way! I don't fit in with my own generation, so I was not comfortable with the thought of that label being applied to me. Sure, I thought differently from my parents on things like politics, movies, and some social issues, but I still considered myself more a result of my parent's generation than mine. Then I did a lot of thinking over my furlough. I did a lot of talking to a lot of people. I came back to my station. And, I have come to the conclusion that I am a conservative m