No Graven Image

I re-read the book No Graven Image by Elizabeth Elliot this year, and I found that it resonated with me profoundly as I am living through a difficult end to a difficult season of life. The book challenges the assumption that we are guaranteed results in our efforts for God, and the so easy to slip into fallacy that God is helping us do our work, not we participating in His will and plans. It’s so easy to think that God needs us to do for Him, and our basic human instinct is that if we do good, then good must result. If we sacrifice for God, then He is obligated to pay up. If we do a difficult thing, we are owed some sort of payoff. And if we start to get into the dangerous habit of thinking of our results as what actually matters…instead of knowing God, then we have an idol in the making.

First, in case you’re worried about my grasp of basic doctrines, of course I believe that the bible says—there is great reward for righteousness, that it won’t all turn up in this life, that telling someone about God is never a waste of time, and that we are responsible to plant and cultivate, but God is the one who grows.

But, and this is the thing that has been sitting on my heart and mind for the last several months, what if the point of some things is simply obedience? What if the reason for this year is not the future (though of course God is weaving that into what is happening now), but now. My choice to obey Him now by staying and engaging with a situation that I feel I cannot change or improve in any significant way? My choice to keep throwing in my best efforts even though you won’t be able to tell I tried at all. My choice to obey God in an act of gut wrenching faith moment, by moment, by moment.

I’m learning a lot right now about choosing what paths my thoughts run down, and a lot about the commanded choice of forgiveness. I’m learning a lot about hoping for things that are hopeless, and knowing that if nothing else, this year has driven me to God and grown me in ways that nothing else could have. So, of course, this year won’t be a waste. Of course, the things I’m sowing now (no matter how much it feels like it!), are not in vain. But I don’t think the point of this year is mostly about what I do or don’t accomplish. I think it has a lot to do with God asking me, “Do you love Me? Then obey Me. Are you willing to love Me more than what you might get from serving Me? Then serve Me.”

Something I’ve found interesting is that almost no other missionary—or for that fact other Christian—I’ve tried to share this with (not that there have been very many I trust enough to try and broach this) has been able to engage with or even really tolerate what I’m trying to say. It seems like all they hear of what I’m trying to share about the turmoil in my own heart is, “DISCOURAGEMENT ALERT!” Immediately I am reminded that I shouldn’t ever be discouraged because everything I’m doing will pay off some day even if I’m not around to see it, that just the other day they were talking to someone who found out that something they thought had little or no result had huge ones, and of course there will be good results, I just need to look harder and wait a little longer.

I think that some of this comes from the ideas/fears that a) we have to succeed or we are letting God down, b) good Christians succeed, so if I don’t I must not be a good Christian, and c) and if there is no measurable results today or tomorrow, if we’re not helping God and accomplishing His divine to-do list, then why am I doing this? I suspect a big part of the reason for theses trite responses is that I hit a nerve at the bottom of their own hearts, and they are terrified of what might happen if they bring this very question up and engage with it. I know I would have been a few years ago.

To follow Jesus is indeed a hard love; one that without the Holy Spirit indwelling would demand the impossible of this fallible human being. But though God demands the hard, the unthinkable, the painful, I am learning to rest in this. Right now I see but dimly, and but a fraction of the picture. If all I accomplished in my life was obedience, then it would be enough. If all I had to show for my time on earth was progress in conforming to the image of Christ, it would be worth it.

So, the next time someone tells me they are discouraged or struggling, I'm going to try and remember to say to them what I wish someone would to me right now: "That's hard. Some seasons it's really hard to see what God is doing, and I can see you are struggling right now. Thank you for still being here, and while I know if feels like you are wasting your time, it matters to God that you are here and obeying in the midst of the struggle. Obedience in the face of hurt is precious to God no matter how flawed, and nowhere in scripture are you commanded to succeed, but you are already trying to do what we are called to do--trust and obey. So hang in there; "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."-Psalm 30:5

"But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10