Everyday kindness

I suppose some day the newness of certain things will wear off a bit and I'll stop being so taken aback by them, but I'm hoping that this season of stark contrast will help me remember and live better.

I suppose one benefit to come out of the hard stuff that was the last several years of my life is an acute appreciation for acts of everyday kindness. Feeling seen by others, and feeling valued. Doors held open for me, help offered, and initiative taken to smooth my path. Cheerful greetings, and people making a point of saying hi when they notice I'm new. Feeding my cat, talking to me for reasons other than needing something, looking out for my workload, and hospitality.

Little everyday acts of kindness which means so much to me, because they have been rather sparse in my life for this last while. I fully admit it is partially my fault because the only way I could see to survive was to withdraw as much of myself as I could into a shell of efficiency and remoteness. Throwing myself into my work I was too busy to spend any more than the unavoidable time with my station mates, and I found that drowning myself in my work meant that I had a holy looking excuse to distance myself from anyone other than my students. If you cut yourself off from others they can't hurt you as much...or serve you, and it's amazing how everyone can be serving like mad and yet miss huge, aching need right in front of them. I know I've done it. Living with most of your energy put into shutting people out is exhausting, and cutting yourself off from the fullness of life Christ's followers are called to, and I don't want to do that anymore.

So now, as I restart my life, I find myself profoundly grateful for every little kindness that reminds me I'm more than what I do. I'm so grateful for people who see me and value my time. I'm so grateful for people who are interested in setting healthy boundaries and respecting mine. And I'm reminded how important it is to show people everyday acts of kindness, and I fiercely committed to not forgetting how important it is for people to feel seen.

I commit to seeing past the challenges and into the hearts of my students. I commit to seeing past the tasks and into the eyes people I work with. I commit to treating those around me like the immortal beings of incalculable value that they are, and I commit to being a person who does what she can to make her corner of the world a better place.